Writing: Actively Showing Instead of Passively Telling

I do a lot of editing, my own work, for writers from Mernac, and also I occasionally comment in various writer's critique forums around the internet. No, Editing is probably the wrong word. Any that know me well, know that my own writing mechanics are poor, and I would never presume to “proof” or “copy edit” anyone’s work. What I do is offer critiques on style and flow because I do know a good story when I read one.

What I find, more often than not, are writers that use a passive voice and/or are passively writing. Usually the latter, passive writing (which usually, but not always, includes using a passive voice). To me passive writing is the quickest way to loose your reader’s attention. No matter how good the story is, if it is passively written it becomes dull, boring and lacks any luster at all. Unfortunately, when I suggest to writers that they should actively “show” instead of passively “tell”, they often have no idea what I am talking about. This usually involves me writing a long forum post or email to ‘splain it the best way I can.

Since I am a story teller more than a writer (and certainly a terrible instructor), I am not sure that I do a good job. So I have decided to create this post to refer people to when the question comes up. I have included some small excerpts and links to people far better qualified than me to instruct you how to avoid passive writing. Please feel free to add any comments of your own to the subject.

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I'll start with active voice because it's simpler. In an active sentence, the subject is doing the action. A very straightforward example is the sentence "Steve loves Amy." Steve is the subject, and he is doing the action: he loves Amy, the object. Another example is the title of the Marvin Gaye song I Heard It through the Grapevine. I is the subject, the one who is doing the action. I is hearing it, the object of the sentence. (Includes an Audio Version!)
Active Voice Versus Passive Voice - Grammar Girl

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In most nonscientific writing situations, active voice is preferable to passive for the majority of your sentences. Even in scientific writing, overuse of passive voice or use of passive voice in long and complicated sentences can cause readers to lose interest or to become confused. Sentences in active voice are generally--though not always-- clearer and more direct than those in passive voice. (lots of Examples)
Active and Passive Voice - Purdue online writing lab

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I've read entire manuscripts written in passive sentences, which make the story sound like it's about to start, but never takes off. Passive writing tells rather than shows; the author circles the story without ever letting the reader become involved in the action. Here's an example:
Eliminating Passive Writing - Laura Backes

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Three things create Passive Voice and Passive Writing: sentence structure, 'to be' verbs, and telling.

To eliminate passive writing from your work, you need to understand the difference between showing, and telling a story. (Nice long informative article from the perspective of how to write a Romance Novel)
Passive Voice and Passive Writing - Susan James

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"Passive Writing" can include passive voice, but sometimes when fiction writers refer to "Passive Writing," they're not talking about active voice vs. passive voice sentences. They're talking about showing not telling.
Passive Writing - L. S. King

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Still not quite sure about using a passive voice or how to avoid passive writing? You may want to consider taking a short writing course. One of the better ones is Writing With Style. This excellent online course (with a human instructor) covers use of the Active Voice, of Transitional Words, and of Rhetorical Devices.