Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Writing: Actively Showing Instead of Passively Telling

I do a lot of editing, my own work, for writers from Mernac, and also I occasionally comment in various writer's critique forums around the internet. No, Editing is probably the wrong word. Any that know me well, know that my own writing mechanics are poor, and I would never presume to “proof” or “copy edit” anyone’s work. What I do is offer critiques on style and flow because I do know a good story when I read one.

What I find, more often than not, are writers that use a passive voice and/or are passively writing. Usually the latter, passive writing (which usually, but not always, includes using a passive voice). To me passive writing is the quickest way to loose your reader’s attention. No matter how good the story is, if it is passively written it becomes dull, boring and lacks any luster at all. Unfortunately, when I suggest to writers that they should actively “show” instead of passively “tell”, they often have no idea what I am talking about. This usually involves me writing a long forum post or email to ‘splain it the best way I can.

Since I am a story teller more than a writer (and certainly a terrible instructor), I am not sure that I do a good job. So I have decided to create this post to refer people to when the question comes up. I have included some small excerpts and links to people far better qualified than me to instruct you how to avoid passive writing. Please feel free to add any comments of your own to the subject.

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I'll start with active voice because it's simpler. In an active sentence, the subject is doing the action. A very straightforward example is the sentence "Steve loves Amy." Steve is the subject, and he is doing the action: he loves Amy, the object. Another example is the title of the Marvin Gaye song I Heard It through the Grapevine. I is the subject, the one who is doing the action. I is hearing it, the object of the sentence. (Includes an Audio Version!)
Active Voice Versus Passive Voice - Grammar Girl

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In most nonscientific writing situations, active voice is preferable to passive for the majority of your sentences. Even in scientific writing, overuse of passive voice or use of passive voice in long and complicated sentences can cause readers to lose interest or to become confused. Sentences in active voice are generally--though not always-- clearer and more direct than those in passive voice. (lots of Examples)
Active and Passive Voice - Purdue online writing lab

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I've read entire manuscripts written in passive sentences, which make the story sound like it's about to start, but never takes off. Passive writing tells rather than shows; the author circles the story without ever letting the reader become involved in the action. Here's an example:
Eliminating Passive Writing - Laura Backes

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Three things create Passive Voice and Passive Writing: sentence structure, 'to be' verbs, and telling.

To eliminate passive writing from your work, you need to understand the difference between showing, and telling a story. (Nice long informative article from the perspective of how to write a Romance Novel)
Passive Voice and Passive Writing - Susan James

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"Passive Writing" can include passive voice, but sometimes when fiction writers refer to "Passive Writing," they're not talking about active voice vs. passive voice sentences. They're talking about showing not telling.
Passive Writing - L. S. King

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Still not quite sure about using a passive voice or how to avoid passive writing? You may want to consider taking a short writing course. One of the better ones is Writing With Style. This excellent online course (with a human instructor) covers use of the Active Voice, of Transitional Words, and of Rhetorical Devices.

60 comments:

Unknown said...

Preach it, Mother of Good.
Too many dern "was"'s running rampant over our stories make them ramble. Yikes, and I almost said "There are...":-)

-Arleas (Jules)

Quont said...

Thank you for this small mercy. My tired eyes and aching fingers testify to the constant need for banishing passive writing and the dreaded "be-whichment"!

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2- Do some considering. Prior to you even look at planning to your mall to meet a chick, sit by yourself down and do some serious considering. Think of how you could possibly speak to a young lady and what you might say to her if that you're effective. Think about which components of this mall you'd visit. Also, you are gonna must buy a little something even though there, what do you need? Finally, bear in mind what meeting a young lady in a public spot entails. Unquestionably you are likely to have to search for any wedding ring earlier than speaking with a woman, and you might be expected to think of if it's wiser to speak with a toddler alone or 1 who is with others. Ultimately, you might have to get practical about your own age and the ages for the toddler you need to meet. As in, you are going to must tell your own self to get practical and don't have a go with to satisfy girls which have been very much younger or older than you will be, or that look and feel out of your league.



three - Ask for help. Once you will be last but not least with the mall, one of this methods to fulfill ladies is by asking them for facilitate. Women know that males have no thought what they're just performing when they are buying, so asking for be of assistance won't seem this kind of a ridiculous thought. Request boost in picking out a jacket for oneself as an example. Performing so let's the woman know that you just are single. If she agrees to aid you, ask her other questions as you grab various jackets to have a shot at on.

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